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When a relationship ends, decisions still have to be made about money, property, and, where there are children, the arrangements for their care. Some people assume that means going to court. In reality, the courts in England and Wales expect separating couples to consider resolving matters away from a courtroom wherever it is safe and appropriate to do so. If you are in the Reading area and facing these questions, this article explains the main options and how they compare.
In April 2024, important changes to the Family Procedure Rules came into force. They strengthened the expectation that parties will consider what is called non-court dispute resolution, which expressly includes mediation, arbitration, evaluation by a neutral third party, and collaborative law. The court can ask each party to set out their views on using these methods, and in financial cases an unreasonable refusal to engage can be taken into account when the court decides who pays the costs. The message is clear: the courtroom is increasingly a last resort, not a first step.
Before making most family court applications, you are required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, usually shortened to MIAM, unless an exemption applies. At this meeting a trained mediator explains the options available to you and helps assess which form of resolution might suit your circumstances. Exemptions exist, for example where there has been domestic abuse or where the matter is urgent, but these have been tightened in recent years.
In mediation, an independent, trained mediator helps you and your former partner discuss the issues and work towards your own agreement. The mediator does not take sides and does not impose a decision. Mediation is often quicker and far less expensive than court, and it tends to preserve a working relationship, which matters a great deal where children are involved. Any agreement reached is not automatically legally binding, so it is usually wise to have it formalised, for example through a consent order in financial matters, with the benefit of independent legal advice. We have an all issues family mediator here at Hewetts who would be pleased to assist with any questions you may have
Arbitration is different. Here, you and your former partner agree to appoint a qualified arbitrator, often a senior family barrister, solicitor or a retired judge, to decide the issue for you. The process runs under the scheme operated by the Institute of Family Law Arbitrators, and the arbitrator's decision, known as an award, is binding and can be converted into a court order. There are separate schemes for financial matters and for issues about children. Arbitration offers privacy, a faster timetable than the court system, and the ability to choose your decision maker, which appeals to many couples who want certainty without a public hearing. We have a financial Arbitrator here at Hewetts who would be pleased to assist with any questions you may have
A private financial dispute resolution hearing, sometimes called a private FDR, mirrors a court hearing but takes place privately, with an experienced evaluator giving an indication of the likely outcome to help the parties settle.
Collaborative law involves each person and their solicitor meeting together with a commitment to reach agreement without going to court. Different routes suit different situations, and a combination is sometimes the best approach.
Non-court options are not suitable for everyone. Where there has been domestic abuse, where there are safeguarding concerns, where one party will not engage honestly, or where the matter is genuinely urgent, the protection of the court may be necessary and appropriate. A good adviser will help you judge which route fits your circumstances rather than pushing you towards any single one.
If you are separating or already in a dispute and would like to understand the options for resolving it, Hewetts Solicitors in Reading can talk you through mediation, arbitration, and the court process, and help you choose the right path. Please contact us for a confidential conversation.
Safeena Tufail - s.tufail@hewetts.co.uk
Published on 02/07/2026